Arranging the escaped marriage

A couple of us were carpooling on the way home from class.. and we were talking about everything under the sun when he goes "Vidya, is you're family hounding you about marriage now?" with a wink.. well he was joking.. but what he addressed got me thinking a little bit...
There's a lot of cynicism regarding the concept of arranged marriage in India, but then, how much different is it than going on a date with a guy you just met.. Nowadays, arranged marriage is no longer a "meet the guys picture and then marry him", it is really about knowing the guy for 6 months or a year before deciding, the best thing being that its no longer just you who is entering with a serious intent, it is the guy as well..

Coming back to arranged marriages, I started thinking more deeply on whether there was one factor, various expressions of which could explain the psychology behind most or all arranged marriages... I came up with various reasons that I have seen people enter arranged marriages for - fear of an over dominating/protective family or too much love for an over protective/dominating family, the lack of caring because you could not marry the person you loved, fear that you would end up all alone, lack of belief that you could find the person meant for you... at the end of the day.. unless you see the ideal situation of loving a person that is completely acceptable by the family - but in this case it is a love marriage in essence, an arranged marriage in its true self, I realized, is a way of escape.. Escaping from all the insecurities mentioned above... Its a way out where someone else takes a part of your responsibility, and makes the escape easier, where you can fall in love and have the security that the person you fall in love with is not gonna run out on you..

Does it work?? well never been in one.. so too early to judge..

Well coming back to the conversation.. I told him that an arranged marriage was something I would potentially enter.. and that I did not see it as a necessary evil... on the contrary.. ive seen a number of cases where it worked out pretty well... So what escape did I seek???

"That's a secret I'll never tell"

The little thing that became big

It was Sunday evening and I was finally back home.. only to realize that my old roomate had come to take her bed away, i.e. Vidya was bedless.. :(..
As the Walmart was just 5 minutes away.. I decided to go to Walmart with her to get a new bed, making Vidya = bedful..
So we walk along, and on entering decide to get the same thing she had, but with a smaller size.. I pass along and then I see this great comforter on sale (with pillow covers), and 2 great looking pillows, and this very cute table, and soda, and chips.. and before I know it, Im dragging my trolley home with a $150 bill rather than the $50..sigh sigh...
The next thing I know we reach home, and open this supposedly "easy to assemble" table - made in china consisting a variety of screws, hooks and otehr cardboard and styrofoam junk..
Proceeding to assemble the seemingly innocent looking table, we decided to screw i the foundation, so that I didnt have the whole thing slamming on my feet while i worked.. We managed to screw just half in, and wondered why the hinge was dangling at this awkward angle with no particular function...
Well Nailing in all the foundation screws, we observed that they all protruded at exactly the same length.. hmm.. complexed bewitched, I proceded to use every ounce of energy in my already aching limbs, only to have the screw move a couple of mms, but having the horrible realization that there were 5 others screws awaiting the same treatment.
We then proceeded to the next set of screws, to fix the shelves onto the table. Now either the holes in the boards were done by a blind person, or someone having a problem with a perception of depth.. for whatever the reason, we had holes drilled into areas that were completely out of sync with the rest of the configuration, which left us with randomly putting nails in at random angles to attempt making shelves on my new, already old feeling table.
We then proceeded to remodel my entire room, with old memories of being an interior designer some day (I wonder if cheap furnishing from Walmart for a great effect would have a market?).
Closing word: Make a list before shopping, for not making one definitely does not help the bill..

the little things in life

you ever started out with a bad day.. and had lots of little things making it better and better, little by little, till you fall asleep thinking its a wonderful day?? I just had one of those.. I got up with a real grumpy/happy mood..
Grumpy --> waking up at 7:30 to go for work, and a long trip to San Jose ahead
Happy --> TGIF!!
So I get up and start getting ready.. and walk to work.. and tried to call up some of my favorite ppl.. but all were sleeping or busy.. and i thought.. uugghh.. not a good beginning..
I head to work.. and i had this wonderful thing that i was supposed to saturday nite.. only to see that all the tickets were sold out.. uugghh.. don't you hate that?? especially when it was combined with a sleepover at a friends you havent seen in 6 months..
Well I go on with my work.. and start talking to other friends that I hadnt talked to in ages.. so new plans crop up for saturday nite.. and lifes looking better..
Well.. then the big meeting with the boss comes along.. one Id been dreading and looking forward to for ages.. Will my internship continue?? so we go for lunch..
Although i dont get an answer to the question, she seems very keen on keeping me on.. and talks about talking to her boss and getting back to me about it = good money + great job === GREAT DAY.. Vidya is now officially happy..
to top things off.. we had one of our "socials" in office == free food and alcohol.. and meeting LOTS of new ppl.. As I finally was done with my 10 day vegetarian ordeal.. I could pig out on the great chicken, talk to a friend I had not seen since I joined two months ago (my new jogging partner), and generally socialize.. before heading out with my carpool buddies to san jose.. to look forward to the great weekend up ahead..
So forget the horor sorry horoscope.. heheh.. and just takes things as they come..
p.s. my horoscope for today is as yet unread.. do share anything you see about it.. I am aquarian.. :)

Lifes not a circle, its sqaure

You know how everyone thinks lifes a circle and you keep going round in circles? How then, do you explain all the bumps and hits? I think lifes a sqaure, your safe in the middle, stray too much, and you might chance upon a cracked knee (the corner), or a broken nose (the flat sides).. either ways.. we all just try to stick to that middle area, and if unfortunate, you are standing on quicksand, or you cross the lines, and are no longer there...

we test the times..

Isnt it ironic how indians can get into politics no matter where they are? I myself used to carefully follow what happened in the indian govt while i lived there.. while the primary intention was forcing down those "oh so well written" editorials to score higher on my GRE, I liked to believe that it was my keen interest on changing the world that did it for me...
Fortunately or unfortunately, I land up in San Jose, and whats with trying to be a good graduate student (the not - primary reason for reading those editorials) and being a teacher who taught things that were largely intuitive (how do I save a word document), I got stuck in the middle of both worlds.. or rather out of it.. I lost all track of indian politics, and Bush and the Terminator could not keep me reading the american papers..
And then getting the new job changed it all.. I was suddenly put in a place, where the name "Sarah Palin" was suddenly the center of information, the route to talk to your boss and become the smart, young new intern with great potential in the company..
And so i did just that.. I followed the vice presidential debate, and talks by Obama (unfortunately the soccer mom remained unimpressive in any but the "Britney before the disaster" way... and now.. I am waiting so curiously for Nov 4.. the day... the Bush finally gets cut.. and when america gets to choose between a previous supermodel or the man who said that "look, past is prologue, facts matter".. hmm... i wonder which president hes referring to..